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Updated: Jun 6, 2023


I've been asked often what led me to Haitian Vodou, or why I initiated. I was raised secular but surrounded by spirituality, occult books and tarot because my dad loved anything esoteric. A friend roped me into joining the LDS Church when I was eight years old. I was spoiled by my dad always encouraging me to think for myself, so the vibe of the members eventually aggravated my rebellious side and I left the church at fifteen. In my early twenties I studied atheistic and theistic satanism, poking around the works of LaVey, The Temple of Set, among skimming over other systems.

Shortly after in the mid-2000's I switched focus to chaos magick studying a lot of A.O. Spare and Peter Carroll. I perfected that practice to my satisfaction over the course of eight or nine years. Evocation interested me but my aversion to anything Judeo Christian, verbose grimoire language, and complex Spirit personalities all turned me off from integrating other systems, although I studied quite a few from the armchair position. I never looked at or studied African diasporic religions. In total I have been studying and practicing magic, albeit with a rather singular focus, for about fifteen to eighteen years.

 

In late 2013 in the middle of a very real personal physical crisis the Lwa intervened for me in a tangible, verifiable, consistent and repeatable way. I learned the personality of the first two Lwa I interacted with before I knew their names, or what was happening, and aggressively rationalized it at the time. The Lwa not only protected me continuously despite my ignorance, but eventually resolved the crisis. This experience with its various unverified personal gnosis and verifiable physical results left me, eventually, falling ass backwards into Vodou, and was when I began serving the Lwa. I resisted for a few years at first, but my deep gratitude to Ezili Dantor and Bawon Samedi compelled me to always show my thanks, which eventually compelled me to learn more, and continually do more. Vodou is profoundly vast, and no one ever stops learning unless one Wills it on their self in delusion or favor of adopting a predatory style of practice by which they are the ultimate authority.

 

I was mistakenly under the impression that my Manbo friend broke rules or revealed secrets she wasn't supposed to, and so I was scared to seek out her House. I learned and practiced directly with a few different Ougans and Mambos over the years. I sought out the House who taught the Mambo that introduced me to the Lwa, had some memorable adventures, learned a lot, and we separated due to irreconcilable differences in directions we wanted to take our practice. I love Haitian culture, wish to continue to always learn about Haitian culture and Vodou, solely. With all due respect to other systems and cultures, I am not interested in incorporating any other systems or cultures into my practice or life. I am only interested in the Haitian culture and Haitian Vodou.


The side of the spirits I saw and continue to see may have usually never been possible. The reason it was possible is because of the incredibly talented good hearted Manbo who saved my life and asked for very little in return, just like Ezili Dantor. I have a deep love and respect for the Lwa which despite many attempts, no one can take away from me. I thank Papa Legba for being the always walking commander of opening and closing gates for me with greater wisdom than I possess on my own. My ancestors I thank for staying always present at those gates where needed, with love and patience despite my ignorance and terrible decisions at times. I thank Ezili Dantor, Queen of the Coffin, Mistress of Unconditional Love, my mother and sister in the most horrific experiences where everyone in life could not or would not be with me. I thank Ezili Je Wouj for protecting me, acting viciously but never out of control, who will grab you by the throat and force you to stop fighting so you can see how much she loves you; the perfectly balanced beautiful lioness of a terrifying but loving mother. I thank Bawon Samedi for simply being there the first time I needed him, and resolving a situation like an anvil slamming down between danger and I. I thank him for manifesting long enough to not only work, but spend a little time with me too. I thank Manman Brigitte for being welcoming. I thank Ogou Feray for piercing right through any darkness, obscurity, or trickery and revealing trickery over and over. I thank Damballa and Ayeda Wedo for being welcoming and working for me despite my past ignorances, and their unmatched ability to uncover the truth of matters. I thank LaSirene and Met Agwe for their patience and presence, despite much ignorance, and I thank Yemaya for her part in presence and patience with ignorance as well. Thanks to Ezili Freda, beautiful Queen of Dahomey, loving mother, for the gifts of beauty products and coming to me when I was in great distress, letting me know everything would be okay, helping me relax and sleep in a pink crystal spq castle in my dreams. Thanks to all the Lwa who have interacted with me in ceremony, done work for me, done work for others I care for, and/or spent time with me in my dreams.



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